Speaking at the right time! Silence is golden at times!

 

We all have been in awkward situations of silence between the parties in communication. But how long does that silence last? What is too long and what is too short to pause? This is something that most speakers would think about. Here is where listening comes into the picture.

The best way is to guage the expressions on the listeners face. But what about an era of pre-zoom meetings where the calls were only audio. In that case the best situation is for the talker to get an affimation from the listener that he is listening. Paraphrasing is a good technique to guage the depth of the listener's understanding and continue with the communication. Body language and gestures are effective measurements to understand if the point is communicated across.

The discipline of controlled, articulated speech is taught by ToastMasters. Being involved in such groups has taught me the importance of listening when you are in a group situation. If all participants start speaking at the same time it is chaos and noise. There is no point that is understood. However taking turns while speaking can enable clear comprehension. Better so, if the points made by each participant are listed in a white board to be debated at a later time. It is important for the people to be on the same plane of communication to get the point across. However if people are upset  about something, no matter how hard you try no point will get through to them. 

It is crucial to have a clear frame of mind while talking. A lot of problems can be solved by effective listening, organizing thoughts before speaking and then speaking. It may sound a lot formal for a pathway conversation, but it is essential to make a point and stick to it. Most arguments are due to mis understood gestures, tonal voice and body language.

Next time you speak, it is ok to be last to speak, but make sure you are being listened to. Talking out of turn is like crossing the lane without looking at the blind spot. Use of "Excuse me" would work in most situations. "Raising hand" is a good gesture to signal. "May I?" is another technique. In text environments, just typing what you feel is an effective mechanism. 

If you by chance happen to be in the same room, area where you do not like the other person just excuse yourself out lest you blurt out inappropriate words.

"Silence is golden" and is the thumb rule in most conversations. Ask for opinion if you seek feedback and comments. 

Respect the thought process of the speaker and make mental note of it.

Lastly, I would like to summarize that if you follow the "GLOSS" acronym before speaking namely

G = Get Ready, L = Listen, O = Organize thoughts, S=Seek permission, and S= Speak clearly we would have won the debate half way! You will avoid being glossed over!!